Hey guys! You know when you just have an epiphany? Like you’re there minding your own business and then it just hits you? It could be something that you’ve been trying to understand for a while and it could just be something new?
Ok, so my epiphany was that I am comfortable in my own skin and I’m comfortable being me. That might sound twee and basic to some of you but to me it was something. At times I flit between wondering if I am ‘good’ enough or if people get me. Lately however I’ve realised that not everyone will ‘get’ me, ‘like’ me or ‘want’ me and it’s fine. Absolutely fine. I don’t need to pander to the needs of everyone. I love me and that’s what really matters!
To get a better understanding I have to delve into the past a little. I’m sure we can all relate to being compared to someone right? For me it was my immediate younger sister. It was more of a personality comparison than anything else as she was extrovert and I am more introvert. Thank God that my parents never compared us and only outsiders did. I remember one time an adult directly asked me "Why can’t you be more like your sister” Can you imagine the incredulity? :O I responded by saying “Because I’m not her” It’s interesting how we sometimes remember the painful parts of our younger years. If we’re not careful they have a way of moulding us into bitter adults. That was a recurring theme in my life at one point; the constant comparison and the constant attack on my personality. It was truly horrible and I’m so glad that phase of life is over with. I remember one time when I attempted to be loud in one gathering and I hated it. It just wasn’t me. Needless to say I never did that again😉 There is no shame in being painfully shy and there is no shame in being outgoing and the life and soul of the party. What matters is that you are your natural self and nothing else! So yeah that was my moment of clarity this week. I’m happy and content in myself and external approval does not validate me. My validation comes from God. That is all.