Hey everyone, I hope you're all well? This is kind of an 'unofficial' part two of my last post. I want to focus more on the mind this time round.
So, whilst I was in this 'in between' stage with God I found it really hard to sleep, like really hard. Try as I might sleep wouldn't come and if it did, It'd be around 4/5am. Needless to say I was running on empty. Various thoughts plagued my mind and I was constantly troubled. I was gripped with fear about the future which seemed to always be on my mind.
I don't think I was able to hide it all that well and I definitely had semi-permanent bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep. Sometimes, you don't realise how much you miss something until it's gone and boy did I miss the ability to sleep. When I did manage to sleep it was a short lived luxury- but a luxury nevertheless.
After deciding to place my focus on God alone I was able to sleep so much better and for so much longer too. I was no longer doe eyed in the middle of the night. The most important thing for me however was the peace I had, especially peace of mind. You can try and buy other things in the world but peace? Impossible. Suddenly, things and people that threatened that peace of mind had to be put away.
Words really can't articulate how I feel but I'm absolutely overjoyed to have peace back in my life. Peace that isn't dependent on outcomes, individuals or circumstances but rather, rooted in the love that God has for me. If you're yet to experience that Peace I pray that you receive it sooner rather than later. At first I was thinking "What if I lose this peace again?", until I realised that as long as I continue growing in Christ and taking my relationship with God seriously, there'll be no reason for peace to depart from my life. The reason I'd lost it in the first place was due to looking at everything else but God therefore losing my focus.
All in all I'm so grateful to God for not giving up on me and for showing mercy when I didn't deserve it.
I hope you all have a blessed and peaceful week